Chapter 7 Living In The Now
Report On Assignment
Objective: By the end of this session you will understand how to bring about permanent and lasting change by giving up the past and living in the now. You will learn to stay present with thoughts and actions to create a future you choose, not by allowing it to happen by default. You will complete another “Change your thoughts; change your life worksheet.”
The Ideal Future Demoralized Cycle.
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Idealize |
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Futurize |
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Demoralize |
List some times in your life when you thought “Things will get better when”: Ex: “When I graduate from high school then__________.” “When I get married then_____.” “When I get the divorce, then things will improve.”
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Did the thought process “________ will get better when ________” bring you what you thought you would get?
The transformation process can only happen now in the present moment by declaration. When ever you put something off into the future you allow yourself to create inactivity in your life. This means, by default, your future will be just like your past. Nothing will happen to change anything. The time to act is now. This moment is the gateway to all moments. You are who you are, now, and now is the time to act. There is a difference between talking for something and talking about something. Talking about something like a radio announcer talking about what is happening. Talking for something is like being in the game making it happen. “Did you see what happened?” “I am making it happen now.”
Access to power in the present moment.
Access to real power is rendering the past meaningless. I can do that by declaring, “Today the world is exactly the way it should be. I accept my bank account exactly the way it is. I give up needing anything to be different than it is. Everything in my past is perfect and complete. (If it isn’t do what you need to do to make it that way. Refer to the article on completing the past in the appendix.) I accept myself exactly the way I am. I accept everyone I meet exactly the way they are, as perfect whole and complete. I recognize that I am free to choose liberty and eternal life and today I exercise my right to make that choice. I am totally liberated now.”
Depression and anxiety are reactions to whatever triggers us. It is unawareness, or unintentionally being lost in thought about what is happening that we don’t like or getting caught in the negative voice. Much of our depression and anxiety come from worrying about the past or being anxious about the future. When we shift our awareness from the past or future to our purpose in the present moment – without judgment – accepting things as they are, the negative emotions cannot survive.
Mindfulness – awareness, consciously and intentionally paying attention to things as they actually are, in any given moment, rather than idealizing them as we want them to be.
Peace can exist only in the present moment. It is ridiculous to say, “Wait until I finish this, then I will be free to live in peace.” If you think that way, peace will never come because there is always another “this” following the present one. If you are not creating peace at this moment, then your default future will take over and inevitably you will not be at peace; there will only be what you all ready have: the hope of peace – some day.
If you want to be at peace, be at peace now by declaring it! Even a little bit of mindfulness, brought to a single moment, can break the unhappy chain of events and lead to persistent happiness.
One of the most effective ways to disengage from the negative thoughts is to become fully absorbed in the present moment. You can practice this by taking any routine activity that normally is only a means to an end and give it your fullest attention so that it becomes an end in itself. For example, every time you walk up and down the stairs in your house or place of work, pay close attention to every step, every movement, even your breathing. Be totally present. Or when you wash your hand, pay attention to the sense perceptions associated with the activity, the sound and feel of the water, the movement of your hands, the smell of the soap and so on. When get into your car, after closing the door, pause for a few moments and become aware of your breathing and your heart rate. The is one certain criterion by which you can measure your success in this practice: The degree of peach that you feel within.
Before starting our present moment activity find a rasin or a grape of any piece of small fruit. We will do this exercise describing a raisin but any people of small fruit will do. Next rate you current anxiety level on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being high anxiety and 1 being the low end of the scale. ___________.
- Hold the raisin in the palm of your hand or between your fingers and your thumb.
- Focus on it. Imagine you’ve just dropped in from another planet and have never experienced an object like this before.
- Take some time to really see it. Gaze at the raisin with care and full attention.
- Let your eyes explore every part of it, examining the highlights, darker hollows, the folds and ridges, and any asymmetries or unique features.
- Turn the raisin over between your fingers, exploring its texture, maybe with your eyes closed if this enhances your sense of touch.
- Hold the raisin beneath your nose. With each inhalation, drink in the smell, aroma, or fragrance that may arise. Notice as you do this anything interesting that may be happening in your mouth or stomach.
- Now slowly bring the raisin up to your lips. Notice how your hand and arm know exactly how and where to position it. Gently place the object in your mouth. Without chewing, notice how it gets into the mouth without you thinking about it. Spend a few moments exploring the sensations of having it in your mouth, examining it with your tongue.
- When you are ready, prepare to chew the raisin, noticing how and where it needs to be for chewing. Consciously take one or two bites.
- Notice the waves of the taste sensation as they pulsate through your mouth as you continue to chew.
10. Without swallowing yet, notice the sensations of taste and texture in the mouth and how these may change over time, moment by moment, as well as any changes in the object itself.
11. When you feel ready to swallow see if you can first detect the intention to swallow as it comes along.
12. Experience this sensation consciously before you actually swallow the raisin.
13. Finally, see if you can feel what is left of the raisin moving down into your stomach, and sense how the body as a whole is feeling after completing this exercise in mindful eating.
After the exercise: What did you discover? Take a few moments to write down anything that you noticed about the raisin and the process of eating it that you may not have been aware of before. ______________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What is your depression and anxiety level now? _____________. Is there is any change in your feeling level?
Now that you are aware of “mindful thinking”, defined as “intentionally paying attention to things as they actually are in the present moment, however they are, rather than as we want them to be”, contrast that to a mere reaction to whatever triggers us. This is defined as unawareness, or being lost in thought about what is happening that we fantasize about or do not like.
Now that you are aware of “mindful thinking”, defined as “intentionally paying attention to things as they actually are in the present moment, however they are, rather than as we want them to be”, contrast that to a mere reaction to whatever triggers us. This is defined as unawareness, or being lost in thought about what is happening that we fantasize about or do not like.
Unawareness – being lost in thought, not aware of what is occurring in the present. Reacting to triggers, carelessly unmindful, inattentive.
Assignment #1:
Continue to use the following worksheet to identify and change your thoughts in the present moment and watch your negative moods improve:
Change Your Thoughts and Your Life worksheet
The following worksheet will assist you to stay “in the present moment”. You may use the process anytime, but especially use it in situations you feel particularly depressed or anxious about right now.
1. Event: ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
2. Emotions: ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
3. Automatic Thought: ( This is the most important part, it requires the most work and attention. Consciously notice the thoughts flowing through your mind. Ex: “Life is hard”.) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Resulting Behavior: (What behavior do you see coming out of these thoughts and emotions. Do you act out your SDB’s? Ex: Withdraw from life.) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A. Is the thought true? _________________________________________________
B. What do I get by believing these thoughts? _______________________________
C. What comes into my life if I let the thoughts go?__________________________
5. Logical response: (This comes out of the 4. ABC questions. Ex: “What I am telling myself is not realistic.”) ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
6. Challenge statement – (Ex: I am capable and can do hard things.) __________________________________________________________________________
7. New Behavior – (Ex: I get up and get it done.)
Assignment # 2:
Be mindfully aware of your thoughts in the present moment and intentionally question their validity. When ever any negative thought passes though your mind, do not accept it without question. Ask yourself the three questions.
- Is the thought true?
- When comes into my life when I believe the thought?
- What comes to me if I let the thought go?
If the thought is useful, keep it. If not assign no meaning to it and let it go. Dealing with the thoughts in the present moment makes it so you don’t have to drag them with you into the future. As you watch your negative moods improve, notice when your thoughts stray back to the past or the future. How does that affect your depression and anxiety scale? Is there is any change in your feeling level? Noting this on a card or in a journal will uncover interesting evidence of tendencies in your unconscious thoughts.
Are there any changes in your self-defeating behavior? Go back to page 2 in the workbook and look at the Self-defeating behavior you listed. Are there any changes that have come out of your new ways of thinking? Write down any differences you notice. _________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Assignment # 3:
Continue the mental blessing and the “I am________ (Happy).” Spend at least 15 minutes a day affirming your own competence and thinking possibility thoughts. No thought exists in your head rent free. Negative thoughts cost you greatly and power thoughts pay you dividends. Our minds are tools that we can choose to use any way we wish. The thoughts you choose to think create the experiences you have. I you believe that it is hard or difficult to change a habit or a thought, then your choice of this thought will make it true for you. If you would choose to think, “It is becoming easier for me to make changes,” then your choice of these thoughts will make that true for you.
On Wax, Wax Off
In the movie, Karate Kid, Mr. Maagi agrees to teach Daniel Laruso who to become proficient in the art of self defense. He gives him a bucket and a sponge and a can of car wax with the assignment to wash and wax about six cars in sitting in the yard. The teacher gives his student some specific instruction on the circular movement of his hands while he is performing this task. He says, “Wax on with the right hand circling clockwise. Wax off with the left hand circling counter clockwise. Breath in thought the noise and out though the mouth.” Daniel takes on the task or the exercise and after several hours these movements and the breathing have become automatic. He now makes the movement without thought. He has now become automatic in his ability to fend off the blows of his opponents with his circular hand movements.
I am asking you to practice just like Daniel Laruso. Every day for the next 21 days spend 15 minutes in practice with power thoughts. Make a list of those thoughts and repeat them over and over for the course of the practice. Thoughts such as, “I am whole, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.” “I have a millionaire mind.” “I enjoy my mind and body.” “Other people love and accept me.” I love and accept other people.” These thoughts are only suggestions. Pick the thoughts that will work for you and change your life and watch them change your life. It’s OK to multi-task.
