Chapter 5 Being: The Entry Point For Transformation
Session 5: “Being” is the entry point for the beginning of all Transformation.
Report On Assignment
Objective: By the end of this session each participant will understand the difference between “Being” and “Doing”, and the difference between “about” and “for” and how that difference impacts the outcome of the end result.
“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”
- Sun-tzu (Chinese general & military strategist ~400 BC)
The world in which we live is a physical place, or at least it seems so. Most of us work in order to Have so we Do in order to Be something.
Ex: We think, “If I Had money, then I could Do what I wanted and then I would Be happy.”
Reality Check: How is the “If I Had…” model working for you? Frustrating? Tiring? Unfruitful? Do you feel like a victim of your circumstances, thoughts, beliefs? Are the things you want materializing in a physical world? – or do they seem to be “out there” somewhere just beyond our reach.
| Inaccurate Perception Model | |||
| If you have control over … | Situation | Other People | Self |
| Motivational Order … | Having | Doing | Being |
| Accurate Result Model | |||
| You have control over … | Self Declaration | Own Self Image | My Actual Behavior |
| Motivational Results … | Being | Doing | Having |
Being Law #1: “Being” does not need the approval of other people. It is something observed by other people as it is occurring. There is no need to tell other people who you are. You don’t need their permission.
Being Law #2: Anything worth doing is worth screwing up; there are no such things as mistakes only learning experiences. Behavior, past present or future does not determine “Being.” “Being” is only determined by declaration.”
You don’t start by having. You start by being. You can start doing but if you start doing before you start being, you are white knuckling the process. We start every day be being or seeing ourselves as something. Much of the time it is done by default or habit. Much of the time, because we are playing old tapes and listening to the old voices in our heads we wake up saying, “Today I think I will be miserable,” and then go out and begin to do miserable stuff. Instead we could wake up and make a conscious choice to be something, anything else from miserable, and then the doing as a result of the being comes naturally. Try it and see.
What determines my Being? ________________________________________
What effect does my Being have on my Doing and Having? _______________ ________________________________________________________________
When can I choose my Being? _______________________________________
Assignment: Follow the following steps daily:
1) Write that on a 3 x 5 card (or something you can keep close at hand) in the words “I am _____________. Repeat the verse 20 x’s per day and when ever you have a choice or a decision to make, repeat the “I am” versed label and then immediately do what comes to your mind. Notice and write down what happens.
BeingàDoingàHavingà
Joe arrived on this planet perfect and innocent. Without language to describe himself he accepted himself as “I am Being me.” Around age five Joe realized his love for animals and with that love came the decision to see himself as “I am being a veterinarian.” Being a vet resulted in doing what veterinarians do. He cared for the dogs and cats in the neighborhood and took little birds home and made splints for their wings.
“I am a veterinarian,” said Joe to himself and he knew it was true because he said so. As long as he just said it to himself he did just fine. It is when he started to share his self perception that the problems began to crop up. On the first day of kindergarten Joe stood atop his desk and announced the obvious. “I am a veterinarian,” he said. All of the other children and the teacher laughed and said, “Joe, you wouldn’t make a wart on a veterinarian’s nose.”
Joe stomped his foot on his desk and insisted, “I am a veterinarian. I am I am!” His class mates grumbled among themselves saying, “Who does this smart aleck think he is? He is not even in the first grade. He doesn’t have an education a degree or nothing.” They waited for him in an alley after school. That afternoon Joe went home with a bump on his lip. But Joe was a veterinarian. He did what veterinarians do. He helped animals. Joe just learned Being rule number 1. “Don’t insist on other people knowing who you are.” He also realized the two reasons not to insist. Reason number 1: When you insist that other people accept you as you see yourself, they beat you up after school. Reason number 2: It doesn’t require anyone’s permission to be whatever you want to be.
It doesn’t require anyone’s permission. It became real the moment Joe said it was so. It was a creation that began in his own language and spread to the conversations he had with other people. So Joe became a veterinarian the moment the words came out of his mouth. He became a veterinarian with nobody’s agreement but his own and that was all he needed.
One day, while sitting on his front porch watching the world through with his veterinarian eyes, an old dog limped by. Joe, with his astute veterinarian judgment, concluded that without an operation this dog was going to die. “What would a veterinarian do in this situation?” he asked himself.
“He would operate,” Joe concluded without a moment’s hesitation. So Joe operated. This was Joe’s first experience operating and the outcome was different than he expected. The dog wouldn’t hold still and the procedure created a big mess. Eventually, the dog died.
“Whoops,” said Joe, “the next time I operate I will do it different.” And the next time he did do it different. That dog died too, but not in exactly same way and the mess wasn’t quite so bad. Eventually Joe’s patients didn’t die and even more eventually after that, some of them actually got better. Joe had just learned Being rule number 2. “Anything worth doing is worth screwing up or, there are no such things as mistakes only learning experiences.
Some 6 years later, at age twelve, Joe finds himself walking down the road again looking at the world though veterinarian eyes. The kids who used to beat him up in kindergarten don’t beat him up any more and when their dogs are sick they take them to Joe because he is now recognized as having a gift with dogs. As Joe goes by his neighbor’s chicken coop he notices the chickens look strange. They have pink eyes, blue beaks, are walking in tight circles to the left and obviously laying no eggs. Joe does what veterinarians do. He goes into the chicken coop and starts checking those chickens out. The neighbor sees Joe in the coop and runs out and hollers, “Hey you dumb little kid, what are you doing in my chicken coop?”
“I’m a veterinarian,” replies Joe, “Your chickens are in good hands.”
“OK, if you’re so smart, you tell me what’s wrong with them” says the neighbor. “They aren’t laying any eggs.”
“I don’t know yet,” says Joe, “I’m a dog expert. I’ve never worked on chickens before but I’ll find out.” Joe then proceeds to do what a veterinarian would do. He goes down to the local vet who has a license, a degree and the agreement of the community that he can practice veterinary medicine and explains the situation as he sees it.
The local vet doesn’t know what is wrong with the chickens either, but being impressed with this 12 year old boy asking such deep questions he gets out his chicken book that list all the chick diseases in the world and matches Joe’s description with a diagnosis in the book. “They have cooper deficiency,” says the local vet. “They need vitamin X with a cooper supplement.” Joe goes down to the feed store and buys himself two bags of vitamin X with a cooper supplement, takes it back and feeds it to the chickens. The chickens start laying eggs like crazy.
The neighbor sees this and decides Joe is a genius and tells Joe’s teacher what has happened. When Joe’s 6th grade teacher hears from someone other than Joe that Joe is a genius Joe will never in his life time from that point forward get anything but straight A’s in school. Teachers don’t mess with geniuses. They flunk kids who see themselves and have the reputation of being dumb, but they don’t flunk geniuses.
Another 6 years go by and Joe comes out of the 12th grade with straight A’s in school. Where does he go to veterinary school? Right, anywhere he wants. Who foots the bill? Not Joe.
Eight years later Joe comes out of school with a degree, an education and everything his kindergarten class mates said he needed to be a veterinarian in the first place. “Now they say, “We give you permission to be a veterinarian.”
“Joe’s reply, “I was a veterinarian when I was 5, the day I stood on my desk and announced it to the world. I am a vet and always have been. I am a vet because I say so. It has nothing to do with what you say, what I do or have done or anything I have. It is so because I say so. ”
What Joe learned was that life goes from BeingàDoingàHavingàand is created in word by declaration. This is a law that works for us or against us. If I declare “I am stupid or broken or flawed,” that is what gets created. Be very careful about how you label yourself. You are what you say. Other people or situations can offer you labels but they only stick if you accept and declare them. What others say or think about you is really none of your business.
If you think you must Have money before you can Do what you want in order to Be happy, your thinking is backwards. Become as a little child again. Being is a beginning place not an ending place. Having is a result not a cause. Think like Joe and watch the miracles happen.
Want to put this into practice? Try the following experiment.
On a 3 x 5 card (or something you can keep close at hand) write the words “I am _____________” (something, first person and present tense such as I am happy or I am peaceful.) Repeat this label 20 times per day and then whenever you have a choice or a decision to make, repeat the label and then immediately do what comes to your mind. Notice and write down what happens. The promise is that your behavior will now support who you really choose to be rather than supporting a self image that has come by default. Let me know what happens.
BeingàDoingàHavingà
Joe arrived on this planet perfect and innocent. Without language to describe himself he accepted himself as “I am Being me.” Around age five Joe realized his love for animals and with that love came the decision to see himself as “I am being a veterinarian.” Being a vet resulted in doing what veterinarians do. He cared for the dogs and cats in the neighborhood and took little birds home and made splints for their wings.
“I am a veterinarian,” said Joe to himself and he knew it was true because he said so. As long as he just said it to himself he did just fine. It is when he started to share his self perception that the problems began to crop up. On the first day of kindergarten Joe stood atop his desk and announced the obvious. “I am a veterinarian,” he said. All of the other children and the teacher laughed and said, “Joe, you wouldn’t make a wart on a veterinarian’s nose.”
Joe stomped his foot on his desk and insisted, “I am a veterinarian. I am I am!” His class mates grumbled among themselves saying, “Who does this smart aleck think he is? He is not even in the first grade. He doesn’t have an education a degree or nothing.” They waited for him in an alley after school. That afternoon Joe went home with a bump on his lip. But Joe was a veterinarian. He did what veterinarians do. He helped animals. Joe just learned Being rule number 1. “Don’t insist on other people knowing who you are.” He also realized the two reasons not to insist. Reason number 1: When you insist that other people accept you as you see yourself, they beat you up after school. Reason number 2: It doesn’t require anyone’s permission to be whatever you want to be.
It doesn’t require anyone’s permission. It became real the moment Joe said it was so. It was a creation that began in his own language and spread to the conversations he had with other people. So Joe became a veterinarian the moment the words came out of his mouth. He became a veterinarian with nobody’s agreement but his own and that was all he needed.
One day, while sitting on his front porch watching the world through with his veterinarian eyes, an old dog limped by. Joe, with his astute veterinarian judgment, concluded that without an operation this dog was going to die. “What would a veterinarian do in this situation?” he asked himself.
“He would operate,” Joe concluded without a moment’s hesitation. So Joe operated. This was Joe’s first experience operating and the outcome was different than he expected. The dog wouldn’t hold still and the procedure created a big mess. Eventually, the dog died.
“Whoops,” said Joe, “the next time I operate I will do it different.” And the next time he did do it different. That dog died too, but not in exactly same way and the mess wasn’t quite so bad. Eventually Joe’s patients didn’t die and even more eventually after that, some of them actually got better. Joe had just learned Being rule number 2. “Anything worth doing is worth screwing up or, there are no such things as mistakes only learning experiences.
Some 6 years later, at age twelve, Joe finds himself walking down the road again looking at the world though veterinarian eyes. The kids who used to beat him up in kindergarten don’t beat him up any more and when their dogs are sick they take them to Joe because he is now recognized as having a gift with dogs. As Joe goes by his neighbor’s chicken coop he notices the chickens look strange. They have pink eyes, blue beaks, are walking in tight circles to the left and obviously laying no eggs. Joe does what veterinarians do. He goes into the chicken coop and starts checking those chickens out. The neighbor sees Joe in the coop and runs out and hollers, “Hey you dumb little kid, what are you doing in my chicken coop?”
“I’m a veterinarian,” replies Joe, “Your chickens are in good hands.”
“OK, if you’re so smart, you tell me what’s wrong with them” says the neighbor. “They aren’t laying any eggs.”
“I don’t know yet,” says Joe, “I’m a dog expert. I’ve never worked on chickens before but I’ll find out.” Joe then proceeds to do what a veterinarian would do. He goes down to the local vet who has a license, a degree and the agreement of the community that he can practice veterinary medicine and explains the situation as he sees it.
The local vet doesn’t know what is wrong with the chickens either, but being impressed with this 12 year old boy asking such deep questions he gets out his chicken book that list all the chick diseases in the world and matches Joe’s description with a diagnosis in the book. “They have cooper deficiency,” says the local vet. “They need vitamin X with a cooper supplement.” Joe goes down to the feed store and buys himself two bags of vitamin X with a cooper supplement, takes it back and feeds it to the chickens. The chickens start laying eggs like crazy.
The neighbor sees this and decides Joe is a genius and tells Joe’s teacher what has happened. When Joe’s 6th grade teacher hears from someone other than Joe that Joe is a genius Joe will never in his life time from that point forward get anything but straight A’s in school. Teachers don’t mess with geniuses. They flunk kids who see themselves and have the reputation of being dumb, but they don’t flunk geniuses.
Another 6 years go by and Joe comes out of the 12th grade with straight A’s in school. Where does he go to veterinary school? Right, anywhere he wants. Who foots the bill? Not Joe.
Eight years later Joe comes out of school with a degree, an education and everything his kindergarten class mates said he needed to be a veterinarian in the first place. “Now they say, “We give you permission to be a veterinarian.”
“Joe’s reply, “I was a veterinarian when I was 5, the day I stood on my desk and announced it to the world. I am a vet and always have been. I am a vet because I say so. It has nothing to do with what you say, what I do or have done or anything I have. It is so because I say so. ”
What Joe learned was that life goes from BeingàDoingàHavingàand is created in word by declaration. This is a law that works for us or against us. If I declare “I am stupid or broken or flawed,” that is what gets created. Be very careful about how you label yourself. You are what you say. Other people or situations can offer you labels but they only stick if you accept and declare them. What others say or think about you is really none of your business.
If you think you must Have money before you can Do what you want in order to Be happy, your thinking is backwards. Become as a little child again. Being is a beginning place not an ending place. Having is a result not a cause. Think like Joe and watch the miracles happen.
Want to put this into practice? Try the following experiment.
On a 3 x 5 card (or something you can keep close at hand) write the words “I am _____________” (something, first person and present tense such as I am happy or I am peaceful.) Repeat this label 20 times per day and then whenever you have a choice or a decision to make, repeat the label and then immediately do what comes to your mind. Notice and write down what happens. The promise is that your behavior will now support who you really choose to be rather than supporting a self image that has come by default. Let me know what happens.
